I decided to move into book writing in 2007. However, I was one of those people who did not have a burning story to tell. So, the next best thing was to find somebody who did, and tell it for them. I found Francis and Dorothy Chong. And what a story they had to share!
They were a married couple recovering from multiple adultery. Against all odds, the marriage survived. You have to read the book to understand. They wanted to tell their story as part of their healing process and also to provide encouragement and help to other hurting couples.
I remember one interview when Dorothy was digging deep into her memories. I couldn’t type on because tears were obscuring my sight – so unprofessional! She calmly handed me a tissue and we continued. The result was No More Tears – Reconciliation after Adultery.
Let’s hear from Dorothy about where that book went.
Dorothy, I heard that No More Tears has seen quite a bit of the world? Francis told me it had been distributed in Nagaland. I had to look that one up on the Internet.
D: Francis travels frequently for mission trips. We also have friends who travel for work. They usually bring copies of the book with them. So far, more than 100 copies of the book have been distributed in Nagaland – a state in the north eastern part of India. It gave Francis and me, together with other couples, the opportunity to conduct a Marriage Course in Nagaland last year for 50 couples.
No More Tears has also gone to Malaysia, Thailand, China, Mongolia and Russia. It has been translated into Mongolian and Chinese. There is talk of translating it into Russian and Thai.
Wow, it has been translated into two languages already. How did that happen?
D: A Mongolian lady read it and volunteered to translate it into her language. She felt that there were couples in Mongolia who would benefit from reading it.
Many readers tell us that it is rare to find a book about adultery in the Asian context. Mostly, only Caucasians are brave enough to “tell all”. So our book is quite unique. That’s why the book was translated into other Asian languages – people felt they could relate to the story.
Actually, many marriages are plagued by adultery. We don’t know the real figures because adultery is usually shrouded in secrecy and even the spouses may not be aware for years and years. And when they find out, they may not talk about it or seek help because they feel ashamed about the breakdown of their marriage.
This leads us to talk about your ministry. You embarked on the writing of the book because it is an extension of your marriage ministry?
D: Yes. Up till last year, Francis and I facilitated a 10-week Marriage Course. I, together with a few women, conduct a support group for women who are hurting from adulterous marriages and Francis counsels married men who are willing to open up.
We also speak at conferences, both locally and in other countries. Naturally, we can’t tell our life story when we are on stage, it’ll take too much time. That’s where No More Tears comes in. People read about our ugly past in the book. Then, they see Francis and me on stage, reconciled and happy. The difference is powerful. It gives them hope for their marriages and strength to carry on with their lives. I’ve lost count of the number of people who approached us after they had read the book. I don’t know how many copies of No More Tears have been sold, but I always hear about the book being passed around! (laughs)
I need to add a cautionary note here. Seeking counsel does not mean the marriage will be saved. The reality is that some adulterous spouses do not wish to mend the marriage. In my support group, I don’t go into methods to ‘get the husbands back’. Instead, we point the women to God, help them find security in Him and nurture their inner strength to continue with their lives, with or without their husbands.
Did the writing of your book (back in 2008!) contribute in any way to the healing process for you and Francis?
D: Yes, it did! Recalling our story brought back a lot of pain. Nobody wants to wash their dirty linen in public, and moreover, I am a naturally reserved person, so it was very uncomfortable. There were many times when I wanted to stop. But when I saw how sincere, repentant and willing my husband was to tell his story, it gave me new confidence in our marriage.
I am glad we finished the book and published it, because it testifies of how God transformed our broken marriage and it has brought hope and help to many people.
Thank you, Dorothy, for helping me to catch up with where the book No More Tears has gone. I will probably never visit Nagaland in my lifetime, so it is awesome to learn that a book I had written had already gone there. That’s the thing about books:
“When a book is published, it goes on to lead its own life, walk its own path, travel to places, meet people, make friends, change some.” (Pauline Loh)
No More Tears – Reconciliation after Adultery is published by Armour Publishing and available on Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Tears-Reconciliation-Adultery/dp/9814222860
For the Chinese and Mongolian versions, please email Dorothy at email@example.com